OpenAI bought Jony Ive's company for $6.5 Billion. The announcement came as a suspiciously calm blog post titled "Sam & Jony introduce io".

Two men. One headline. Infinite serenity. They looked less like founders and more like they baptized singularity.

Welcome to the parody arena. Your mission: write a better headline — funnier, weirder, sharper — anything but that original press release.

Our brutally honest AI rates every submission with an “acquisition value” a completely fake metric inspired by the real $6.5B price tag.

Good headlines earn billions. Bad ones politely suggest you to uninstall your keyboard.

Submit your best. Brace for judgment. Let's do what $6.5B apparently couldn't.